Any major surgical procedure can have a big effect on a relationship, and hysterectomies are no exception. Due to the sensitive nature of the surgery, many men struggle with how to care for and interact with their wives following a hysterectomy procedure. The best advice for husbands after hysterectomy is simply to continue treating your wife with love, respect, and attention. To avoid making any major mistakes, follow these dos and don’ts of maintaining your relationship after a hysterectomy.
Do Learn About How Hysterectomies Work
One of the first things you can do to help your wife is just taking the time to learn about the surgery she is having. There is a lot of misinformation floating around on the internet, so many men get confused. Some husbands worry their wives may feel different or no longer express interest in them. The reality is that sex after hysterectomy for the man may feel surprisingly similar. In all procedures, the surgeon takes steps to maintain vaginal functionality.
A hysterectomy is simply a surgery that removes the uterus. The surgery usually does not affect the vagina itself, though there are rare cases where a hysterectomy may remove the cervix or upper portion of the vagina. Some hysterectomies might involve removing the ovaries, which triggers menopause. Others could leave the ovaries intact, so your wife’s hormonal levels will remain regular.
Try asking your wife which type of hysterectomy she is having and then doing a little research on reputable medical websites. This can help you understand what to expect following surgery.
Don’t Let the Hysterectomy Get in the Way of Your Sex Life
It is quite common for husbands to have a lot of mental reservations after their wife had hysterectomy. However, you should not let these concerns completely derail your sex life. For many women, sex after a hysterectomy can help them feel like things are finally getting back to normal. Therefore, there is no reason to stop enjoying a healthy sex life with your spouse.
If her hysterectomy is making you see your wife in a new light, it is important to take a step back and realize that her hysterectomy does not change who she is. Think of all the things that made you fall in love and feel attraction to your wife in the first place.
For many couples, sexual problems that developed long before the surgery have a way of coming to the forefront after the hysterectomy. It may be tempting to use concerns about hurting your partner as an excuse to avoid sex. However, this is ultimately unwise. Being able to confront your problems head-on and openly address your sexual needs is more effective in the long run.
Do Affirm Your Wife’s Femininity
Most women know on a logical level that their femininity is not tied to having a uterus. However, it can be hard to ignore years of social and cultural conditioning that link womanhood to fertility. It is extremely common for a woman to feel a sense of grief after losing her uterus or her capability to bear children.
Some advice for husbands after hysterectomy encourages them to step aside and let women deal with it on their own. However, the reality is that you can play a very important role in helping your wife through this grief. Though you may not have first-hand experience in these sorts of women’s matters, your support is still invaluable during this difficult time. There are all sorts of things you can do to help your wife remain in touch with her femininity.
Try to reassure her by regularly complimenting her looks, personality, intelligence, and special characteristics. Plan date nights and social activities that let your wife know just how much you treasure her. Avoid getting frustrated with her emotions or speaking about her loss in a flippant way. Being extra sensitive and thoughtful will give your wife the strength and inspiration she needs to process this major change.
Don’t Rush Things After Your Wife Had Hysterectomy
Sex after hysterectomy for the man might feel fairly similar overall, but this does not mean that you should rush into it as soon as the doctor gives your wife the all-clear. Your wife has just had major surgery, so vigorous penetrative sex can feel a little uncomfortable for her at first. Try to take things slowly and let your wife lead the way.
She might prefer non-penetrative options for a little while, and you may need to be extra gentle during sex. As always, the key to a good sex life is communication. Talk to your wife about how she feels and discuss what works best for her.
Various hormonal changes can affect sex drive and natural lubrication levels for your wife. This does not mean she is no longer interested in sex with you, but it may take a little longer to get things started. Some women may find it harder to get in the mood or orgasm following a hysterectomy. Therefore, it is essential to be patient. Set aside a little extra time for sexual encounters and avoid putting pressure on your wife. It may take some trial and error to find methods that work for both of you.
Do Pay Attention to the Positive Effects of a Hysterectomy
A hysterectomy will invariably result in some changes for you and your wife. However, many of these changes could actually be positive. Hysterectomies help treat dangerous conditions and ease chronic pain. They can end painful periods that made it hard for your wife to function, or they can give peace of mind following a cancer diagnosis. Once your wife recovers, you may find that she has a lot more energy and enthusiasm for life.
Focusing on the bright side of things can help both you and your partner find joy and meaning following a hysterectomy. Many women are happy to have their husbands tell them things like “I love seeing you feeling so great again!” Bringing up the positives of a hysterectomy, such as not having to worry about birth control, getting treatment for medical conditions, and avoiding period inconvenience, can help you and your spouse celebrate your new normal.
Ultimately, a little extra support and attention to your wife make a big difference, so we hope this guide has helped you come up with some ways to assist your partner during hysterectomy recovery. At the offices of Dr. Krinsky, we work hard to provide high-quality gynecologic care for all patients. Do you have more questions? Our team is always happy to answer questions you may have both before and after your wife’s hysterectomy. If you would like to learn more, call today.
