We grieved with Chrissy Teigen, who publicly shared the deep emotional pain she experienced after the tragic loss of Baby Jack. And we are all happily anticipating the birth of her rainbow baby this coming winter.
What Is a “Rainbow Baby”?
Symbolizing hope and healing, a rainbow baby is a healthy child born after an infant loss, miscarriage, or stillbirth. A successful pregnancy after two previous losses is referred to as a double rainbow baby.
The terms rainbow baby, double rainbow baby, and rainbow mom or rainbow mama are generally not familiar terms for those of us who have not experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth. But thanks to the social media presence of celebrities like Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union, the terms have become part of our everyday language. Jay-Z and Beyonce have three rainbow babies. Hilaria Baldwin had a double rainbow baby with the birth of their fifth child after two miscarriages, And Meghan Markle became a royal rainbow mom with the birth of Lilibet Diana Mountbatten Windsor.
What Does “Rainbow Baby” Mean?
Rainbow babies symbolize renewed hope after periods of grief and sadness. When a stillbirth, miscarriage, or neonatal death occurs, devastating feelings of loss and pain can result. Each parent grieves differently, with some taking much longer to heal and move forward than others.
For these reasons, becoming pregnant again may be emotionally challenging, particularly if there have been multiple previous losses. While many parents want to embrace a new child, lingering feelings of guilt and sadness may hold them back.
It’s a complicated time. We understand that even an early miscarriage is a loss and how the thought of a new pregnancy can be anxiety-provoking. Our obstetricians in Doral, Florida, know this, and are prepared to help you navigate the physical and emotional milestones with compassion and recommendations to maximize the chances for a successful pregnancy.
Are Rainbow Baby Pregnancies Common?
For some parents, the statistics can be encouraging. So here is the good news. According to The American Pregnancy Association, 85% of women who have miscarried or had another form of neonatal death once will have a successful pregnancy the next time. 75% of women who have had multiple previous losses will have a successful pregnancy the next time they try. This means that rainbow baby births are fairly common.
The Emotional Side of a Rainbow Baby Pregnancy
According to Medical News Today, approximately 10-15% of all known pregnancies result in miscarriage, and 1 in every 160 births are stillbirths. While these losses differ from traditional deaths, they’re no less traumatic or painful to experience.
For some women, it can take days or weeks to physically recover from a miscarriage or stillbirth and months to recover emotionally. Every woman is different. Rainbow baby pregnancies can represent a period of mixed emotions. While there is excitement, there may also still be grief and worry. Parents may feel as though they are too quickly moving on or at risk for another loss. Whatever feelings may be present, it’s important to remember that it is normal and okay. Seeking emotional support and practicing open communication with your partner are helpful ways to process mixed emotions during a rainbow baby pregnancy.
When is the Right Time to Try Again?
After suffering a loss, you may want to wait a while before trying to get pregnant again. This will allow your mind and body the chance to heal.
When parents feel ready, they should consult with their OB-GYN to ensure all aspects of their unique situation are considered. For example, if the previous loss was a miscarriage, the implications of when to get pregnant may differ from a stillbirth. If the medical reasons for the pregnancy loss are still unknown, parents may want to wait until they have that information.
However, deciding when to begin trying again is ultimately up to the parents. To ensure a healthy pregnancy, the March of Dimes recommends the following:
- Achieve a healthy weight through diet and daily exercise
- Avoid smoking, drinking alcohol, or use of any harmful drugs
- Schedule a preconception checkup with your provider
How to Celebrate the Birth of a Rainbow Baby
Giving birth to a rainbow baby can promote conflicting feelings of happiness and excitement, grief and guilt. While it’s important to keep in mind that you are not alone, there are things you can do to celebrate the new baby while still recognizing the one that was lost.
The American Pregnancy Association makes these suggestions for rainbow baby births:
- Celebrate Rainbow Baby Day, which takes place annually on August 22nd.
- Do something to commemorate a pregnancy loss, like planting a garden, having the hospital create a footprint keepsake, or hosting a christening.
- Join a grief group or connecting with parents who have also suffered loss can provide tremendous comfort. Celebrating a new pregnancy while honoring a loss with those who understand can help reduce feelings of guilt and isolation.
Prioritizing Your Mental and Physical Health
Taking steps to remain physically and emotionally healthy during a rainbow baby pregnancy is crucial. While it can be easy for an expectant rainbow mom to feel overwhelmed and anxious, particularly in the first and second trimesters when miscarriages most often occur, remaining calm can keep you mentally and physically strong.
Here are some strategies to manage your stress when you are expecting a rainbow baby:
- Communicate openly and honestly with your partner and support system.
- Eat a healthy diet, prioritize sleep, and avoid stress-inducing activities.
- Explore ways to work through your emotions, rather than pushing them aside, through meditation or schedule a visit with a mental health professional.
- Do prenatal yoga or relaxation exercises in in-person or at home.
- Read the book Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg
- Document your pregnancy and clear your mind with a pregnancy planner
- Remind yourself that this is a new pregnancy, and is, therefore, different.
The bottom line is rainbow babies are miracle babies. They bring light after darkness, love after loss, and a new beginning after a sad ending.
At South Miami OB-GYN Associates, our goal is a successful pregnancy. We have helped hundreds of parents navigate difficult pregnancies and rainbow baby pregnancies. If you’re newly expecting or thinking of having a baby, come visit our Downtown Doral and South Miami practices.
Schedule your appointment today online or call 305.665.1133.
