Bullying is a pervasive issue that affects children and adolescents across all socioeconomic groups and continues to grow in prevalence. It can manifest in various forms, including verbal abuse, physical intimidation, and increasingly, in recent years, through social media and online platforms. As a pediatrician and a TopLine MD Alliance affiliated provider, I have witnessed the profound effects of bullying on both the victims and the perpetrators. It’s important for families to recognize the signs early and take proactive steps to support their child.

Supporting Your Child Who is Being Bullied

Foster Open Communication

Establishing an open line of communication is essential. Encourage your child to share their feelings and experiences without fear of judgment. Ask open-ended questions, such as, “How was school today?” or “Has anything been bothering you lately?” Reinforce that they can talk to you about anything, even difficult topics like bullying.

Validate their Feelings

Let your child know that it’s okay to feel upset, scared, or angry about bullying. Reassure them that their feelings are valid, and remind them that they are not alone. Empathy goes a long way in building trust and fostering a supportive relationship. Validating their emotions can strengthen your connection and help them feel supported.

Understand the Situation

Work together to determine the specifics of the bullying. Is it happening in person at school, or online through social media platforms? Understanding the context will help you develop a plan of action. Documenting incidents – including dates, content, and individuals involved – is an important first step.

Encourage Assertive Communication

Help your child build confidence and self-esteem. Role-play scenarios to teach them how to respond assertively to bullies. Phrases like “Leave me alone” or “I don’t like what you’re saying” can empower them to stand up for themselves without escalating the situation.

Partner with the School

If bullying persists, do not hesitate to involve school authorities. Most schools have a policy on bullying and resources available for such situations. Contact teachers, guidance counselors, or administrators to discuss the circumstances and seek their intervention. Maintaining a log of your communication with school staff for ongoing support.

Monitor Social Media Activity

If your child is being bullied online, it’s important to monitor their social media usage. Discuss the importance of privacy settings and help them block or report bullies. Encourage your child to take screenshots of harmful messages or posts as evidence, especially on platforms such as Snapchat, where there may not be a permanent record. Stay informed by knowing your child’s usernames and passwords for email and social media platforms.

Encourage Positive Friendships

Encourage your child to develop friendships with supportive peers. Help them engage in activities or clubs that foster positive connections. Surrounding themselves with friends can provide them with a support network that may buffer against bullying, providing emotional protection and confidence.

Seek Professional Help

If your child is showing signs of depression, anxiety, or changes in behavior due to bullying, consider contacting a mental health professional. Therapy can provide them with a safe space to process their feelings and develop coping strategies.

Addressing Bullying Behavior in Your Child

If your child is exhibiting bullying behavior, it’s crucial to address this issue as well. Here’s how you can approach the situation:

Stay Calm and Engaged

If you suspect your child is bullying others, it’s important to approach the situation calmly. Avoid punitive responses that may cause them to shut down. Instead, assure them that you want to understand their behavior and help them to understand their feelings and actions.

Discuss Emotional Understanding and Empathy

Help your child recognize the impact of their actions on others. Discuss the importance of kindness and empathy. Ask them how they think the victim feels and encourage them to imagine themselves in the other person’s shoes.

Promote Accountability

Teach your child that their actions have consequences. Discuss how they can rectify the situation by apologizing to those they’ve hurt and making amends. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions rather than deflecting blame. Learning accountability is essential for growth and change.

Lead by Example

As a parent or caregiver, demonstrate respectful and kind behavior in your interactions. Children often learn by imitating adults, so exhibiting compassion and empathy in your everyday life can positively influence your child’s behavior.

Explore Underlying Issues

Bullying behavior may stem from underlying issues such as low self-esteem, personal problems, or social challenges. Engage in conversations about their feelings, frustrations, and experiences at school or home.

Set Clear Expectations and Consequences

Communicate your expectations for behavior and clearly outline the consequences for bullying. This should be done without anger but with a firm understanding that bullying is unacceptable.

Encourage Positive Activities

Get your child involved in activities that promote teamwork and collaboration. Sports, community service, or clubs can help build their self-esteem while fostering a sense of belonging and empathy for others.

Resources

To further support your child in navigating bullying, consider utilizing these valuable resources:

StopBullying.gov: Offers comprehensive information on recognizing, preventing, and responding to bullying.

National Bullying Prevention Center: Provides resources, tips, and educational materials for both parents and children.

Common Sense Media: Offers guidelines on navigating social media safely and responsibly.

Boys Town National Hotline (1-800-448-3000): Provides 24/7 help for children and families in crisis.

Addressing bullying requires open communication, education around empathy, and proactive measures from both parents and children. Whether your child is being bullied or exhibiting bullying behavior, your support and guidance play a key role in overcoming the challenges that arise. Remember, addressing bullying is a community effort, and every bit of compassion can make a substantial difference. As pediatricians and parents, it’s our responsibility to empower the next generation to foster kindness, respect, and understanding in their interactions with others.

Dr. Lawrence Bergman is a proud member of the TopLine MD Alliance, practicing Pediatric Care in Palm Beach County.

The TopLine MD Alliance is an association of independent physicians and medical practice groups who are committed to providing a higher standard of healthcare services. The members of the TopLine MD Alliance have no legal or financial relationship with one another. The TopLine MD Alliance brand has no formal corporate, financial or legal ties to any of the affiliated physicians or practice groups.